Economists Peter Arcidiacono and Marjorie Mc Elroy of Duke and Andrew Beauchamp of Boston College examined an enormous trove of data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, more commonly known as The poll asked a broad range of questions about health and behavior—and the data set has become the basis of dozens of famed medical, sociological, and economic studies.(For instance, James Fowler of UC-San Diego recently used data from Add Health be a genetic foundation for an individual's political beliefs.) For their paper, Arcidiacono, Mc Elroy, and Beauchamp focused on the dating and sex lives of high schoolers—a subject much-analyzed by magazine editors and romantic-comedy screenwriters, but less familiar to social scientists. These are truisms known to anyone who has watched 10 minutes of a teen movie or spent 10 minutes in a high school cafeteria.So are some other old prom-era chestnuts: Teen boys are primarily—obsessively? Women are people, just like us men, and they have different tastes and preferences.And a romantic life that revolves solely around sex is a pretty empty one. All of it revolved around the flimsy premise that women “had a type” and that they were basically computers that could be hacked. The fact that you’re trying to trick them into liking you kinda says a lot about why they don’t like you. I was goofy, I was sarcastic, I wore horrible clothes, I paid no attention to my hair or my hygiene, and I was overly obsessed with movies. It would be like wearing someone else’s clothes: they wouldn’t fit and people would notice.
High schools are full of rumors and drama - don't get sucked into arguments caused by something a friend of a friend might have seen. Most of bad break-ups and horrible fights of high school dating could have been avoided if the couple had made an effort to talk to one another about problems instead of jumping to conclusions. Don't push your boundaries, and don't let anyone else cross them.
Here’s what I’d tell teenage me about dating, if I could. But it’ll make your 20s a lot more fun, and a We used to talk obsessively about what it was like: only one of our group of friends had sex in high school, and we’d practically beg him for information.
But now, at the end of my 20s, I’m beginning to realize that the reason I wasn’t lucky was because I was operating off of terrible, skeezy, sometimes even misogynistic advice. “Be yourself” might not get you anywhere in your teens.
If you don't know what the boundaries are in your relationship, establish them before you end up in an uncomfortable situation. Remember that after high school, life changes dramatically.
Once you know your boundaries, demand that they be respected. Sometimes the strongest boundaries are mental, or emotional. That's not to say that you can't form a lasting relationship at a young age, it just means that you need to be ready for long distance and a whole new set of problems as an adult.