How can I get her to take her profile down without seeming too pushy?
Great question, Jason – one that affects everyone who dates online.
We've been dating for nearly 6 months yet he's still active on the online dating site, plenty of fish.
The crazy part is he constantly suspects me of cheating on him and talking to other men.
The best way to see this clearer is to flip the situation over. She’ll either think that’s sweet and offer to remove her profile, or she’ll remind you that you’re just “seeing each other” and that she’s not ready to be exclusive. I did this three years ago and it worked perfectly. Which is why I reassured her that she didn’t have to remove her profile. And if she wanted to go out with twenty other JDate guys before taking her profile down, she could.
I'm 100% faithful and he should know this by now, but it's as if he's paranoid.
The thing to realize is that you can’t change anyone else’s behavior. What’s the point of me looking for other people when I was into her?
She’s gonna do what she wants to do, same as you are. If she does, just let her know that you don’t want to see anyone else. I dumped the first two and instantly took down my profile for #3. Of course, such an admission can be a little intimidating for someone you’ve known for a week.
Doesn’t mean you don’t want to see her, just means you’re looking to trade up. You’ll wish her the best of luck in her search and you’ll both move on to greener pastures. There are two possible scenarios: 1) she reciprocates in kind, and you become her boyfriend, and 2) she backs away, and you move on. To sum up, the reason her profile is still up is basically one of the below: 1) She’s playing it cool and trying not to act needy. Better to get an answer now than to wait another two months to find out where you stand.
You have different needs, different goals, different perceptions – no reason for anyone to get hurt. And if you’re unsure of where you stand, the best solution is to bring this to the surface in a confident way. No need to have an uncomfortable “Why is your profile up after two months? She’s waiting for you to make a commitment to be a boyfriend. Currently, this female happens to be seeing someone and in the exact same position.